


Bed of Lies

by blakefancier



Series: Parent Howard series [6]
Category: Captain America (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-25
Updated: 2012-04-25
Packaged: 2017-11-04 07:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how Howard's life falls apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bed of Lies

**Author's Note:**

> I just pillage canon and raze it to the ground, don't I? :D 
> 
> Poor Howard, I'm horrible to him because I love him best. I hope Tony is counting his Lucky Charms. 
> 
> Anyway, not much of Howard being fatherly in this.

"I need to talk to you," Maria said, sitting across from him at his desk.

Howard didn't look away from the computer screen. "I said I was sorry for missing Tony's recital, Maria. I'll make it up to him later." With the business, he barely had time for anything else.

"That's not…" Maria took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "That's not what I want to talk about, Howard. Will you please look at me?"

"Busy. Try back in a half hour." He heard her curse and get to her feet. A moment later his computer screen went black. "Son of a bitch!" He looked up; she had the computer cord in her hand. "Did you just… Do you know how long I was working on that?"

"I want a divorce." 

"What?" He rose to his feet in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

She dropped the cord and licked her lips. "I want a divorce."

"You—" Howard shook his head; he didn't know what to say. "Why?"

"Why? You're seriously asking me why?" She laughed bitterly. "Oh, I don't know, how about because you've been fucking everything a with a dick for a few years now." 

"I— Those—" He sat back into his chair. "Those… they didn't mean anything to me."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" She ran her fingers through her hair; Howard could see tears in her eyes. "I can't take it anymore, Howard. I can't just sit back and watch you make a fool out of me." 

"I won't do it again." He rose to his feet and walked towards her. His hands were trembling. "Maria, I swear, I'll never cheat on you again. I can change. I can... I'll make it up to you. I'll do anything you want, just… we can work this out."

"Howard, stop. Just stop." She shook her head and tears slid down her cheeks. 

"I love you." He grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to kiss her, but she pushed him away.

She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm not going to be your beard!"

His stomach clenched and his voice shook as he spoke. "I'm not gay!"

"Really? You just fell on those dicks then?"

"I'm *not* gay," he said angrily.

"How many men have you fucked in the past year, Howard? In the past two? In the past five? Think about that number and tell me you're not gay!"

"They were nothing," he said. 

"How many, Howard?" She sounded tired and he wanted to hold her, but he knew she would push him away again. 

"I… I can't be gay. I can't be!"

"But you are."

"No! No, I’m not." His voice shook and his eyes stung. "I can't be. If my father—If I was gay my father would disown me. He'd—He'd—" 

"Why do you care? Howard, he treats you like you're nothing! Like you're less than nothing!" 

He flinched at her words. "He's my dad," he said softly. "Maria, he's my dad, and I just want him to—" He bit off the rest of the words.

"Tony and I will stay at a hotel for awhile, until I can figure out something more permanent. My lawyer will be in contact." She turned to go and he called out her name. She stopped and looked over her shoulder.

"I love you."

"That's not enough," she said and walked out.

He closed his eyes and sobbed quietly. 

*****

The door to Howard's bedroom opened and Obadiah stood there, eyebrow cocked. "It's ten o'clock in the morning. Are you drunk?"

"Maybe," he said, taking a swig of whiskey. "Definitely."

Obi sauntered over to the bed and sat down. He took the bottle from Howard and took a drink. "You've been MIA from work for two days, too. Is there reason for all this?"

Howard snatched the bottle back and fought back a sob. "Maria left me." 

"She what?" Obi frowned. "Why? I thought you two were happy together."

"It's my fault," he said in a trembling voice. "I… I cheated on her."

"You… dog!" Obi punched him in the shoulder. "And you didn’t tell me."

"I'm not proud of myself, okay!" He hugged the bottle to his chest. "I've been cheating on her for years."

Obi smiled. "Son of a bitch. And here I thought you and Maria were the perfect couple. I mean, I get it. I've cheated on most of my wives. So what was it? She frigid?"

"You're a pig." Howard gave him a disgusted look.

"I'm not the only one." He put a hand around Howard's shoulders. "Come on. Were you fucking supermodels?"

He shook his head and closed his eyes against the shame.

"Give me something! C'mon, I tell you everything."

"They—" God, he should keep his mouth shut, but he needed to tell someone. It felt like this secret was burning a hole inside of him. "They weren't women," he said, softly.

Obi quickly pulled away and Howard opened his eyes. "You're a fag?"

"I am *not* gay!" He wished people would stop saying that!

"You just told me you're fucking guys. That makes you a fag."

He shook his head. "I'm not. I don't know why I slept with them. I… I just… I couldn’t help myself. I'd see a guy and sometimes I'd just… I don’t know why." He buried his face in his hands and fought back the tears. "What's wrong with me? I have a wife. I have a *kid.* Why did I screw this up?"

"Hey, hey, it's okay." Obi put an arm around him and drew him close. Howard buried his face against Obi's chest and sobbed. "Everything's going to be okay. Listen, you just need time to process all this. Take a few weeks off, get drunk, get laid, talk to your lawyer. I'll take care of everything at the office." 

"Thanks." Howard pulled away and wiped his eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Obi."

Obi smiled at him. "I've got your back, Howard."

*****

It had been several days since Obi's visit and Howard was curled in a ball on his bed, staring at the wall. He was tired and drunk and he couldn't stop thinking about Maria and Tony. He wondered where they were and what they were doing when there was a knock on the door.

"Go away, Jarvis," he said.

Jarvis opened the door and strode in. "I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. Your father is downstairs and he refuses to leave until he's seen you."

"What does he want?" Howard didn't want to deal with him, not right now. Not ever.

"I suspect it has something to do with today's tabloid headlines, Mr. Stark." Jarvis held out a newspaper.

"So they finally got wind of my impending divorce. Big deal."

"No, sir. That is to say, that isn’t the only thing they're reporting." Jarvis opened the tabloid so that Howard could see the headline: Howard Stark's Gay Love Affairs—A One Night Stand Tells All.

"Oh, God." Howard snatched the paper from Jarvis's hands. "Tell me this is the only one."

"I'm afraid not, sir. The mansion is surrounded by paparazzi and the Internet is abuzz with rumors."

Howard fought the urge to vomit. "My father's downstairs?"

"I put him in the den."

He rubbed his face. "Did he seem upset?"

"Yes, he did," Jarvis said, gently.

"Okay. Tell him that I'll be right down."

"Very good, sir." Jarvis closed the door behind him as he left.

Howard pressed his hands over his mouth to keep from screaming. Oh, God, this couldn’t be happening.

*****

"Hi, Dad," he said, as he walked into the den. "What brings you here?"

Dad was sitting behind the desk, Howard's desk, as if it belonged to him. "You know why I'm here," Dad said, arms crossed over his chest. "Do you know what this is going to do to our stock?"

"The point loss will be negligible. I'm the head of R&D, not the CEO." Howard ran his hands through his hair and went to pour himself a drink.

"You disgust me."

Howard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Come on, Dad, it's a tabloid." 

"Do you think I'm stupid, Howard? Do you think I didn't already know you were a queer? A weak little faggot who likes getting fucked? And now you can't even hide behind a marriage, can you?"

His hands shook slightly as he poured his drink. 

"You're going to take a leave of absence."

Howard's eyes widened in shock and he turned to look at Dad. "What? No! Dad, I know this seems bad, but give it few months and they're move on to another news story. People will forget and everything will go back to normal."

"The board won't forget. I won't forget."

"Dad, don't do this. I'm begging you, please." He reached out to touch Dad's shoulder and… and fuck, he forgot how much a backhand could hurt. He staggered back, pressing a hand to his mouth.

"You're going to give a statement to the press telling them that you've decided to take a few years off to find yourself. You won't answer any questions about the divorce or your… proclivities. Is that understood?"

"Dad…" Howard let out a sob and Dad's face twisted in hatred.

"You don't come back until you have yourself a pretty little girlfriend or a brand new wife, Howard. Your half brother might not have any Stark blood in him, but he's got the name, and I'd rather give it to him than some queer. Go it?"

Howard nodded and said, softly, "Got it."

*****

It was a bright September's day when he stood before the press and gave his statement.

*****

"Did you tell the press?" he asked Maria as they sat in the living room.

"Of course not! It makes me look just as bad, you know!"

"Well, Obi says it wasn't him." He clutched the mug coffee in his hands.

"And Obi never lies," she said, scathingly. 

"Don't, just don't! He's the only one who's stood by my side through this whole thing. So lay off him!" He sipped his coffee. "Why didn't you bring Tony?

"He didn't want to come. He's… upset with you." 

"Right, because this is my fault." 

"It is your fault. You were the one having the affairs, not me. And no, I haven't been badmouthing you to our son. But five years old or not, he's a genius, Howard. He can read, he knows what people are saying." Maria shook her head. "You're not the innocent victim here."

"I know," he said. "I know I'm not. Will you… will you tell him that I love him and that I'll be there at his science fair. My calendar has suddenly opened up."

"Yeah, I saw. I'm sorry about that."

Howard shrugged and stared into his coffee cup. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to talk about custody of Tony." She lifted her chin and straightened in her seat. "Are you going to fight me for him?"

He almost told her yes. He almost told her that he was going to fight tooth and nail for sole custody of their son. But she was right, this was his fault and in the five years he'd been a father, he wasn't any better at it. "No, no, I'm not going to fight you for him. You’re his mom and he needs you. And, if you hadn't noticed, I'm a bit of a mess right now."

"You do look like shit." Maria gave him a small smile.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure." She was quiet for a moment, then said, "He needs you, too, Howard."

He laughed and it came out more bitterly than he expected. "He's in for a lot of therapy if that's true." 

*****

Howard almost hadn't picked up his cell phone, but in the end, he was glad he had.

"You sure do know how to make waves, Howie," said a familiar voice.

He smiled and let out a soft chuckle. "Well, one of us has to. How are you doing, Eddie? Where are you now? Mozambique? The French Alps?" 

"Brazil. I have been for the past six months." Eddie sounded happy, carefree. But then he always did.

"That's a long time for you. Don't tell me you're starting to put down roots!"

"Maybe I am. I met someone, she's an ex-pat, like me. We, uh, we have a connection."

"Hey, that's great!" Howard's voice broke and he wasn't sure why. He was happy for Eddie, he was.

"You okay there, little brother? I heard about… about everything." 

Howard cleared his throat. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine. Why don't you come visit me in Brazil? You can meet Amanda, I think you'd like her."

"I don't know. I'm not really in the mood for traveling." He sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "But thanks."

"If you change your mind, you know where I am." 

"Yeah." Howard closed his eyes. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too. You know, that's my one regret," Eddie said, quietly.

"What's that? Not stabbing Dad in the neck?"

"I still have plenty time for that." There was a slight pause, then Eddie continued, "Not taking you with me when I ran away."

Howard laughed softly. "I was ten and I had a broken leg."

"I should have waited. I should have taken you with me. I'm sorry I didn't." 

"Fuck, Eddie, don't. I'm just glad you got out before Dad killed you."

"There are worse things than death, Howie." Eddie sighed. "You know I love you, right? No matter who you sleep with, you're still my brother."

"Yeah?" Fuck, he was going to cry again.

"Yeah."

*****

Howard sat at the bar nursing a glass of whiskey, staring out at nothing while he worked equations in his head. 

A woman in a red dress that matched her lipstick sat in the stool next to his. "What are you having?" she asked and he blinked at her in surprise. She held out her hand. "Peggy Carter."

He shook her hand. "Howard Stark, and in case you hadn't heard, you're barking up the wrong tree."

"I know who you are, Mr. Stark. And I'm not barking up the wrong tree. My friends and I have been trying to set up a meeting with you for several months now." She gestured to a table in the back corner where two men sat.

"Have you now?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yes." She smiled. "Will you have a drink with us?"

"Only if you're buying." He smiled back at her. "I'm between jobs right now."

She hopped off the stool and waited for him to follow suit. Then she put her arm around his and led him to the table. "Howard Stark, I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Nicholas Fury and this is—"

"Nathaniel Richards," he said sitting at the table. "Your reputation precedes you." 

Richards leaned back in his chair and smiled lazily. "As does yours, Stark." 

Howard felt lust uncurled in his belly and shifted uncomfortably. He looked at Fury instead "So what is this all about?"

Fury exchanged a look with Carter, then Richards. He leaned forward and grinned. "How would you like to help us change the world?"


End file.
